Another Cock Update

My patient during clinical today was a 68 year old man who had surgery late last night for emergency removal of his recently implanted penile prosthetic. WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH THESE OLD PEOPLE ENHANCING THEIR PENISES?? This is the second one I've dealt with. This time, sadly for Mr. P. (to protect his privacy), things went grossly awry. The implant caused an infection that became uncontrollable and he had to have it removed after having had it implanted just two weeks ago.

I don't think I want to be a nurse anymore. I want to be a librarian, or maybe a research assistant somewhere. Something that has no contact with bloody penises would be great. Any ideas?

Home Stretch

My first semester is rapidly coming to a close. I had two exams today. Next week I have an exam, a clinical competency exam, and a paper due. The following week, another exam. The week after that, three exams and a presentation. The week after that, three final exams. There really isn't going to be much time to breathe between now and then. Just writing this made me really nervous. Until I looked at the calendar, I hadn't really realized what a tight squeeze all of this is going to be.

Just because...my grandmother...

Cock update

Well, don't YOU have a dirty mind. Pig!

I just wanted to update you on my rooster friend. He is still with us. It has been a few months now and I am frequently awakened by his lame and asthmatic sounding "cock-a-doodle-do" in the morning. He sounds like he's drowning when he's doing it. It's pathetic.

But just in case you were wondering, he's still with us. Here's a picture for those of you who didn't get to see him the first time around.

Nursing Tip 001

We'll start with something simple.

Issue:
Nose Bleed

Real Name:
Epistaxis

Etiology (What causes it?):
Blood vessel injury resulting in localized bleeding. Can be caused by dry air, dehydration, irritations from allergens, irritation from rubbing

Effective Interventions:
Apply pressure to bridge of nose. Also apply cold compress to bridge of nose. Both of these measures cause vasoconstriction, which is a constricting of the blood vessels of the nose, which will help to slow and eventually stop bleeding.

DO NOT:
Throw your head back!! BAD!!! The blood could rush to the throat and cause choking.

++++++++++++++

Additional comments from the student nurse:
Did you ever hear the story of how in the middle of a concert, (I believe it was all-district band in high school), I was playing my clarinet (shut up!) and my nose started bleeding profusely. I was looking at my music...playing a little clarinet section solo within the piece, and all of a sudden there was blood pouring down the silver parts of my clarinet and down my hands, onto my chair. I nearly threw up from the sight of the blood. I had to get up in the middle of the piece, clanking chairs, and music stands, stumbling over people to get off the stage so I could stop the hemorrhaging.

True story. You can't make this stuff up. Too bad I didn't have a piece of ice with me at the time.

New Feature - Weekly Nursing Tips!

Starting today, my loyal readers will be given a short useful weekly nursing tip every Friday. I am not a doctor, so please don't contact me for treatment of anything beyond these simple measures. For those treatments, please see my mother, as she is both an honorary lawyer and MD. (Inside joke...a few people will get it.)

Home Furnishing Tip #1

What's on your mind???

Today was brain day in A&P lab. We dissected sheep brains so we could physically see the component brain structures that we’ve been learning about in Anatomy & Physiology lectures. The sheep brain is about the size of your fist. It was pretty cool. My brain was a bit damaged (Go figure!), so I wasn’t able to see all of the structures involved, but overall I think I would make a good surgeon. Maybe medical school and neurosurgery are next.

I’m not sure where the time went since the last update. School has been truly insane. So far, I’m doing pretty well. A&P requires the most time and I can literally clock 40-50 hours in preparing for a single exam. It is being taught on the doctoral level, and from what I’m hearing from classmates and my instructors, does not compare at all to your garden variety undergraduate A&P. In fact, several of my classmates have been let go from the program because they couldn’t keep up in this class. I really enjoy it, but it’s intense.

Clinical is going well. I had my first experience with patient vomit (or “womit”, as he said), yesterday. The bad news was that he (56-year-old practically blind diabetic cancer patient) threw up all over me; my arms, my hands, covered. This was after, mind you, I had just completed showering him. The good news is that I didn’t get sick in response. I had been worrying about what that first experience with puke was going to be like for me. It turned out fine. It wasn’t until 4 hours later that I started to get the dry heaves, while I was on my way home on the subway thinking about it. Gross. (Why am I doing this?)

I’ll leave you with that. More frequent updates are promised. Enjoy the pictures, and as always, you can click on them for the larger versions.

"Was that disgusting, or what?" - Nuala

This place sucks...

"I can't wait for Thursday's shocking new update." - Nuala